The nun and the cabbie

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."

Thanks to Mrs. Karl!

To change and to risk

To change is to risk something. That makes us insecure.
Not to change is the bigger risk, but it seldom feels that way.

- Waterman

as quoted on Facebook

The blonde and the Christmas stamps

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk: "May I have fifty Christmas stamps?"
The clerk asks: "What denomination?"
She answers: "God help us! Has it come to this? Give me 22 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 6 Baptist." 

Thanks to MadPriest!

Peace, justice, and truth

Peace is the experience of justice, and you can't have justice without truth.

- Ray McGovern
Activist and former CIA analyst
as quoted on God's Politics

Tech support call

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it… 

King on hate

Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.
as quoted on God's Politics

The source of power

Power understood as the ability to accomplish desired ends is present in human relationships no matter how particular communities or societies are organized. Nevertheless, Christian communities recognize that the source of power in their life is the love of Christ which inspires and directs them. This is a style of power not of coercion but of empowerment of others.... It also connects to those at the margins of society who search for word of God’s love and justice.

- Letty M. Russell
in Church in the Round
as quoted on God's Politics

Punny humour

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Thanks to Bailey's Buddy!

Hill on judging another person

No accurate thinker will judge another person by that which the other person's enemies say about him.

- Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
as quoted on Child of Illusion

Sign in a furrier's window in Sweden

Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin. 

Darwin on adapting to change

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.

- Charles Darwin

as quoted on Child of Illusion

You know that your dog has trained you well when ...

... you sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.

From Of Course I Could Be On Vacation ... with my thanks!

King on an appalling silence

History will record that the greatest tragedy of social transition was not the clamor of bad people, but the appalling silence of the good. 

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

as quoted on Twitter

You know that your dog has trained you well when ...

... you talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers.

From Of Course I Could Be On Vacation ... with my thanks!

X on a crushing society

I have no mercy or compassion in me for a society that will crush people, and then penalize them for not being able to stand up under the weight.

- Malcolm X
as quoted on Child of Illusion

RF: Rich Camel in Heaven

Nigeria: Dune James Rike, David Usman, Mark Ojunta, Monday Hassan et al.

Examples of violent acts of the Muslim extremists from the Boko Haram sect in Nigeria during the last months:

4.5.11. Muslim extremists attacked Kurum village (Bauchi state) in a rampage that began at midnight. James Musa Rike, pastor of a Church of Christ in Nigeria (COCIN) congregation in Kurum, said that after killing two of the couple’s children, Faith and 1-year-old Fyali, the assailants cut his wife’s abdomen with a machete. Dune James Rike was aged 35 when she died.
Pastor Rike next heard the cries of his 13-year-old daughter, Sum, a few meters away. He rushed to her, only to discover that she too was cut with a machete on her stomach, and her intestines were all around her. She said that the Muslim militants told her they would kill her and “see how your Jesus will save you.” The girl told her father that she responded by telling them that Jesus had already saved her, and that by killing her they would only be making it possible for her to be with Him. Pastor Rike prayed for her as she died.
Shooting and setting homes on fire, the Muslim extremists killed 12 other Christians in the attack. Bauchi police reported 16 people dead – one man, three women and 12 children.
Pastor Rike and his son survived the attack, and his adopted daughter, Whulham, was injured and receiving treatment at the General Hospital in Bogoro.

7.6.11. The Rev. David Usman, 45, a COCIN pastor, and church secretary Hamman Andrew were shot and killed by members of Boko Haram in an area of Maiduguri (Borno state) called the Railway Quarters. The area was the base of Boko Haram until 2009, when Nigerian security agencies and the military demolished its headquarters and captured and killed the sect’s leader, Mohammed Yusuf, and some of his followers.

27.8.11. Mark Ojunta, a 36-year-old evangelist from southern Nigeria who was ministering amid the Kotoko people of Borno state with Calvary Ministries (CAPRO) was shot and killed in Maiduguri by Boko Haram.
CAPRO International Director Amos Aderonmu said Ojunta died “as a martyr on his field among the Kotokos.” CAPRO had learned that all its staff members working among the Shuwa Arab, Kotoko and Kanuri peoples were on a Boko Haram list of people to be killed and had evacuated them, Aderonmu said.
Ojunta had returned to teach a class after the evacuation of his family. He is survived by his wife and two children, besides his parents and sisters. He was buried in his home state of Abia.

17.9.11. In guerrilla style typical of recent Islamic extremist attacks in northern Nigeria, about 15 gunmen stormed three houses in Ungwan Rana Bitaro village (Kaduna state) at midnight, leaving three dead and eight wounded.
Three houses were attacked by before the attackers retreated into surrounding bushes. When they came, they brought out the members of these families and started shooting them and cutting some of them with machetes. Killed were Monday Hassan (55), his daughter Godiya (13), and his nephew, Istifanus Daniel (35).

22.9.11. In the town of Madala (Niger state), suspected militants from Boko Haram went to shops owned by Christians at a market at about 8 p.m., ordering them to recite verses from the Quran. If the Christian traders were unable to recite the verses, the gunmen shot and killed them. The sound of the gunshots compelled Christians to call the police, and officers arrived to find five Christians had already been killed.

Nigerian Pastor’s Wife, Children among Christians Killed in Attack (CDN 10.5.11)
Pastor, Church Official Shot Dead in Nigeria (CDN 10.6.11)
Muslim Extremists from Niger Help Kill Christians in Nigeria (CDN 31.8.11)
Muslim Extremists in Nigeria Kill Christians in Two States (CDN 27.9.11)
Islamic Extremist Group Kills Another Christian in Nigeria (CDN 17.10.11)
Nigeria: Den muslimska sekten Boko Haram dödar kristna (Kalles kyrkliga kommentarer 18.10.11)

King on scientific and spiritual power

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men. 

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

as quoted on Twitter

Do not condemn

Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.

- Dandamis
as quoted on QuoteFame.com

King on the need to evolve a new method

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method rejecting revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love. 

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

as quoted on Twitter

ELCF extends hand to immigrants

A remnant of the bond between Church and State in Finland is the fact that members of the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Finland (ELCF) have to have a registered home municipality in Finland. Citizenship is not required, however.

Now, the ELCF is endeavouring to help immigrants join its ranks. Most immigrants, a majority of which are nominally Christian, do have a registered home municipality, but some, especially refugees, do not.
In September, the House of Bishops gave support to a change in the law to allow immigrants to join even if they do not have a registered home municipality. Archbishop Kari Mäkinen says the aim is to ensure that immigrants could join any congregation without legal obstacles. I welcome this move; it is about time!

The ELCF has developed various services for immigrants over the years mainly in big cities. Other denominations also offer similar services. Membership of non-Lutheran denominations such as The Finnish Free Church or the Finnish Orthodox church does not require registration.

Evangelical Lutheran Church extends hand to immigrants (YLE News 14.9.11)
Ingen finsk hemort inget hinder för medlemskap (Kyrkpressen 15.9.11)

Schoolboy Howler

An epitaph is a short sarcastic poem.

MadPriest on the faith of an atheist

I have too many doubts to be an atheist.
I am just not capable of such faith.

There is no greater evangelist than science itself.

- MadPriest

Nouwen on Christian unsatisfaction

You are a Christian only so long as you constantly pose critical questions to the society you live in ... so long as you stay unsatisfied with the status quo and keep saying that a new world is yet to come.

- Henri Nouwen
as quoted on God's Politics

Wilde on the gutter and the stars

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

- Oscar Wilde
as quoted on God's Politics

Einstein on learning, living, and hoping

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.

- Albert Einstein
as quoted on QuoteFame.com

Wilde on forgiving your enemies

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

Latvia: Churches defend "traditional family values"

Leaders of the Lutheran, Catholic, Baptist and Adventist churches in Latvia have criticized a new social science school textbook that describes gay and lesbian life as a ”normal aspect of sexuality.” The Latvian Ministry of Education is giving in to the Churches’ demands, and that, in turn, is criticized by local representatives of sexual- minorities.
The Churches promise to continue to defend ”traditional family values”. ”The church isn't alone in its traditional view of the family in Latvia,” said Ivars Kubcis, spokesman for the country's Evangelical Lutheran church (ELCL).

About a quarter of the Latvians are Lutherans and Catholics, respectively, while some six per cent are Orthodox.
Latvia decriminalized homosexuality as late as 1993, and was the last EU member to forbid discrimination of homosexuals in 2006.

Latvian churches reiterate condemnation of homosexuality (ENInews 17.6.11)
Latvian kirkot paheksuvat oppikirjaa (Kotimaa24 23.6.11)



CofS pastors must perform marriages

In the year 2009, the General Synod of the (Lutheran) Church of Sweden decided to enlarge the concept of marriage to include same-sex couples. In other words, a gender neutral marriage was created. Pastors who conscienciously objected to the new order were to be allowed to refrain from marrying same-sex couples.
In spite of this, a handful of oastors elected to apply to have their licence to perform marriages revoked. The state office called Kammarkollegiet granted them this.

At the end of October, 2011, the General Synod discussed the situation at length. The decision taken (161 votes for, 77 against) was that no pastor can be allowed to give up his or her licence, since performing marriages is an integral part of the work of a parish pastor. If any pastor can't perform same-sex marriages, other arrangements can be made.
The licence to perform marriages is not owned by the pastor, proponents said. It is the Church that applies for it from the State on its pastors' behalf. If you want to be a pastor, you can't just pick and choose.

Det är inte prästen som äger vigselrätten (Marta Axner 25.10.11)
Vigselbehörighet för alla präster (Kyrkans Tidning 28.10.11)
Backlash för Frimodig Kyrka (Karin Långström Vinge 31.10.11)
Alla präster ska ha vigselbehörighet (Dagen 1.11.11)


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